A lot of us have a bucket list or toy with the idea of one. Especially as we get older and realize the clock is ticking.
But what about a list of those things you’ve already done, but now, realize you won’t ever do again?
Some because you’ve wised up. Some because that ship has sailed. Some because the exact coordinates of young and dumb will never again align.
So here are TEN THINGS I WON’T DO AGAIN in no particular order:
SMOKE: I quit 28 years ago as a gift to my father.
PARTY LIKE IT’S 1999. Because I like my recliner at 9 pm better than any dance floor.
CONSUME QUESTIONABLE AND ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES: Wish I’d put those brain cells to better use. These days, I’m up for an occasional shot of alcohol-free Zzzz-Quil.
BREAKING AND ENTERING: In my case, it was the abandoned Los Angeles Zoo on a winter’s Sunday. After church. Glad I had my priorities straight.
SHOPPING CART RACES: (I actually am Ethyl McNethyl—Evil Knievel’s little-known twin sister)
CATHETERIZE MYSELF (post-surgically) in the Spot-a-Pot at a Dead concert. Believe me, the accommodations were not this spacious.
HITCHHIKE: What was I thinking?
PUBLIC URINATION: On a cult’s airport landing strip. In broad daylight. With cult members in hot pursuit.
BEER BONGS: Now, when I buy something from Home Depot, you can bet I won’t be swilling beer down with it.
TEACHING: Starve with Dignity, they said. Be a teacher. Ha! I’d had more dignity (and certainly more money) if I’d gotten a boob job instead of a master’s degree. Just saying.
So, there’s some of the things I will never do again. What are some of yours? I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to share in the comments below.
Thanks for reading!