Glamour Don’ts

Glamour Magazine has been a fixture in my life since the 1970’s. So it was a sad day to realize we had to part ways.

And while I’ve always loved their Glamour Do’s and Don’t’s, their focus has become a bit of a Don’t–at least for this middle-class, Christian American woman of a certain age.


A few random cases in point from the annals of said venerable publication:

26 A-to-Z Kinks and Fetishes You Should Know About? Uh–I got as far as ‘G is for Gagging’ and threw up in my mouth.

This Woman Learned to Pole-Dance in Thirty Days. What a riveting, empowering feature story for women–especially in the Me-Too Era.

Caitlyn Jenner and Linda Sarsour as Women of the Year? Puhleeze. One didn’t have a vagina when the honor was given, and the other famously said of Female Genital Mutilation Survivor Hirsi Ali: “I Would Take Her ‘Vagina Away

But it’s not just Glamour Magazine that’s out-of-touch with real women. All you have to do is look at the fashion pages of any magazine marketed toward us.

I understand that there are “Editorial” fashion shoots, but outside of Vogue or W or even Harper’s Bazaar where these kinds of bizarre shoots and layouts are expected, the editors of magazines targeted at the middle-age, middle-income mom-demographic need to get a clue.

Here’s an actual picture I tore out of an old Family Circle Magazine issue (disregard the coffee stains–it is actually an improvement in my estimation.)

Insane Woman in Fashion Page.png

So, they have the hairstyle of the average American woman on-point. And her make-up is nicely done. BUT, if any of us walked out of the house and went downtown wearing this ridiculous ensemble, we would rightly receive some pretty strange reactions.

The Rugby-striped flouncy sweater paired with track pants with a vertical strip. Are we coming or going? Work or work-out?

And then pair this unlikely outfit with yellow high heeled-sandals (complete with bows) and you are ready to report for psychiatric inpatient services. (I do appreciate the toenail polish matching the pants, though.)

It’s a good thing this outfit is labeled FAST TRACK. Yup. FAST TRACK to ugly. FAST TRACK to having a well-meaning four-year old tell you that you don’t match. FAST TRACK to becoming featured on one of the “People of Walmart” slideshows. FAST TRACK to being known as the¬†eccentric¬†one.

Is it too much to ask the fashion editors for women’s magazines to PLEASE give us some looks that will work for real women.

Pieces that will work on real bodies–not slips of flesh over bone.

Pieces that function for women who put in double-shifts as employees, mothers, wives, friends, sisters, etc.

Pieces that are fairly priced–who the hell can afford an $80 white T-shirt when the county has tripled the cost of water, gasoline prices are trending upward, and no one has gotten a raise in ages.

And for the love of God, how about featuring models who are older than twelve? Just because we are collecting more and more birthdays, doesn’t mean we want to dress like our grandmothers. Fashion is fun. We are fun. But we are definitely under-served and under-represented in the pages of most magazines.



Nope. Not at all.

We look more like this:


And what we want is fashion layouts for real women. Now that is a great fantasy. No A to Z kinks or fetishes required.


Susan J. Anderson

Foxy Writer Chick

3 thoughts on “Glamour Don’ts

  1. Amen!!! I’m not a teenager but I’m not headed to assisted living either. I want clothes that don’t require wearing thong undies. I want t-shirts that have sleeves that come down to my elbow (not little cap sleeves that tend to point out that I don’t have the arms of a 25 yr old). And please please please jeans that don’t try to crawl off my backside! I wish the magazines would show me styles that I’d actually want to wear and thus would buy….

    Liked by 1 person

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